Showing posts with label bartender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bartender. Show all posts

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Charlie Sheen

There's this little hole-in-the-wall karaoke bar I go to that's just up the road from my house. It's the kind of place where anything can happen, but usually nothing too bad or fucked up. Usually. I don't even go there to sing, it's just a nice place where everyone knows everyone. The karaoke list is huge too. Whatever.
So I'm hanging out one afternoon, wasting the day, reading a book, when someone places a dirty, shaken, vodka martini in front of me. Now, I'm usually a strictly beer and tequila drinker, but something about that kind of martini just makes me feel good. I might even pass up a free shot of tequila for a $10 martini.
Expecting to see someone I actually know holding the martini, I look up to see the casual, psychotically expectant face of Charlie Sheen. A cold chill runs along my spine and he winks at me then says "Hey, Nate. Thought you could use a nice drink to help that book go down smoother."
Letters and alcohol. Whatever, I can't read.
"Wow, um, thanks Charlie Sheen. That's awesome." 
"Anytime. I'll see you around." He gives me a thumbs-up and walks out of the bar into the sunlight.
The bartender comes over and says "What the fuck. I think he brought that martini in with him."
"Yea, I figured." I turn and dump the martini into a trash can and go back to my beer.

I don't go to that bar anymore.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Sean Penn

So I'm at a bar and it's super busy and I elbow my way up to the front so I can signal to the bartender. I nudge the guy to my right a little too hard and his drink splashes on his hands.
"Hey!" He yells, "Watch out!" And it's totally Sean Penn.
I say "Hey, Sean Penn. You were awesome in that one movie where you were like Forest Gump except twitchier. Sorry I spilled your drink."
"Thanks, man, it's cool." He smiles and wipes his hand off with a napkin then turns away to talk to his friend.
I get my drink and walk away.