Kate Blanchett

In June of 2006 I found myself part of a group of 20-year-olds hired by the DEA to convince drug users that alcohol was the safer way to go. My territory had about half a dozen bars and about 500 meth addicts. I was not assigned a gun but I carried one anyways and I kept my cash in my butt cheeks.
Around 9 pm after a spectacularly unsuccessful day I decided to pop into a karaoke bar for a beer.
Much to my surprise, there was Kate Blanchett. She was obviously 3 sheets to the wind and trying to buy a shot of Dalmore 64 Trinitas. Which is ridiculous. The bartender was getting agitated and I decided it was best to intervene before Kate Blanchett did something she regretted.
"Hey, Kate Blanchett." I gently touched her on the shoulder and she spun around so fast it was invisible to the naked eye.
"Who said my name?" Her eyes were glassy, but she was still as dangerous as a honey badger.
"It's about time you went home, Kate. Remember New Mexico?" She stood up straight and seemed instantly sober.
"You weren't even there." She snarled and I saw her fist begin to ball up.

"That's true, Kate Blanchett. But you were."

And in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I yanked a $20 out of my underwear and tossed it to the bartender. Before I could order anything he stuck it in his pocket and told me to get out.